I know someone who dislikes her boss (true, that’s at least
half the world), but is favoured by him. She receives due acknowledgement for
her work, opportunities for more productive work, and some aid in negotiating administrative
hurdles in her professional life. She didn’t seek this special attention, and
doesn’t really revel in it, although the availability of opportunities and the absence
of hurdles are not unwelcome. What’s unwelcome, and not entirely fair, is the inexorable
envy of her colleagues.
I know someone who through chance events (X-Y pairing, and originating
in the family of a particular person) became the favoured grandchild of a
certain grandfather who held a good deal of sway. The grandfather, despite
being well-supplied with grandchildren of either sex, chose to demonstrate his
adoration of this child flagrantly, with visible gifts and special privileges,
in full view of the other grandchildren. The favoured one is reputed (by his
irate cousins) to have had his head turned by this coddling, which, even if
true, lays the blame at the parents’ and grandparents’ feet rather than the
child’s. In any case, he earned a great deal of bullying in his childhood, which
turned to private scoffing and aloofness as maturity intervened.
I know someone who is a decent, insightful, intelligent, responsible
and fun person, deserving of most of the popularity he enjoys. In addition, he
is a light-complexioned Indian male, of a fairly privileged community, and holds
the positions of son-in-law, brother-in-law, etc., which grant him special
status more or less automatically. He has to contend with the annoyance of his
less-advantaged peers, of either sex, who cannot dismiss all the adulation he
gets as unjustified, but chafe, all the same, at the moiety of the adulation
that is (unjustified by his character, skills, or work).
Persons in power – relatives, friends, bosses – often pick
one or a few of their ‘subjects’ to favour, and to unabashedly and insensitively
shower with attention, gifts, and opportunities. The ones bypassed are
rightfully aggrieved, and often demonstrate their displeasure in resentful
silence, plentiful gossip, complaints through ‘proper channels’, if any, or all
too often, in mistreatment of the favourites. This last is an unfortunate, and
seldom justified, recourse.
Not all favourites are sycophants, diligently sucking up to
the authorities to ensure a smooth and undeserved ride for themselves. Some
certainly are, and this is not about them, the *$#@&%! Others are simple
souls, wending their way through life in all rectitude, neither seeking nor
enjoying the glare of the authorities’ attention. That they do not shun the
opportunities that come their way does not automatically make them undeserving.
And the fact that some of them merit at least some of the favour they enjoy,
making it tough for a fair observer to summarily dismiss their popularity and
detest them whole-heartedly, is not their fault. This is more or less a ‘poor
little rich boy’ situation. Many favourites even experience a measure of
self-doubt at intervals, when contemplating the smooth path that stretches out
before and behind them. It can be tough to negotiate the intricacies of these
social associations, various combinations of fair and pleasant.
Not having had (or at least, not admitting to) first-hand
experience of such favour, but having observed representatives of both the
favoured and the envious subgroups, I speak from a point of detachment and empathy!
