Witness protection?
– on married Maharashtrian women’s names
– on married Maharashtrian women’s names
Madhuri Charudutta Joshi potters about the neighbourhood, goes to school and college, wins championships in sports and arts, interns and works in government/quasi- government/private organisations, hoards certificates and documents, collects friends and foes over the years, and then, one presumably happy day, disappears! Her place is instantly taken by Asavari Dileep Deshpande, and no one bats an eyelid.
Maharashtrian women take this
business of moving from one phase of life to another, of becoming another
person and making a new start, very, very seriously. Starting with
GivenName-Father’sName-FamilyName and hopping to NameGivenByHusband-Husband’sName-Husband’sFamilyName.
This tradition gives some boys (when men) the opportunity to realise a nominal
fantasy by naming their newly acquired wives. Perhaps it also allows some women
to finally get a name of their choosing, via advice to the husband. But mostly
this complete erase-and-redo just confuses everyone. [And so would be a great
opportunity for someone to commit a crime and change her identity altogether.
What better time to eliminate your enemies than the verge of your wedding and
the beginning of a ‘new life’?]
Confuses because, often, the
name-change is only ‘official’ – what is inscribed in the rice in a
post-wedding ceremony is then inscribed on certain documents (e.g., bank
passbook), and then put aside except for the rare use in official documentation
(official mail addressed to the woman, or mostly on wedding invitations issued
by the woman). So it is that you may discover that rather than the aunt you
have been calling Madhuri Maami for over two decades, an Asavari Deshpande is
suddenly, in collaboration with your Dileep Maama, inviting people to your
cousin’s wedding.
Also to be seen in email addresses
and on social networking sites is a pragmatic compromise, mainly for personal
and social communication. E.g., Madhuri Deshpande, who, notwithstanding her
new-found Asavarihood, continues to be Madhuri in daily life (even called so by
her husband and his family), and is now a member of the Deshpande household.
Two trends in Maharashtrian women’s
names are gaining ground: (i) the NameGivenByFamilyOfOrigin is regiven by the
husband, so Madhuri C. Joshi may become Madhuri D. Deshpande, following the
highway that thousands of her non-Maharashtrian sisters use. (ii) Both the
families – of origin and of marriage – are acknowledged, without declaring the
men representing them, viz. the father and the husband. Thus, Madhuri C. Joshi
now calls herself Madhuri Joshi Deshpande. What the next generation will do
with these compound surnames would be fascinating to observe: Will Girl Joshi
Deshpande marry Boy Kulkarni Tendulkar, and powerlift all those surnames
thereafter – X Joshi Deshpande Kulkarni Tendulkar? Won’t future generations sound
like telephone directories, and develop cramps from filling forms?
Perhaps Harry S Truman will show the
way.
Note:
Thanks, Shashank, for the comment: “It’s like witness protection”.
